I do not know what it is but it just seems like rather than attracting men who are looking for a serious relationship (hopefully one that will last) I seem to only attract less suitable characters. There are all types really but I think that there are two that at the moment in particular are really bothering me enough to do some real venting here.
The first is the Married Man who shows interest. He thinks that his particular situation is different and that somehow no one else has it as hard as he does. His wife doesn’t understand him and she doesn’t care...? Not buying that by the way and you shouldn’t either!
You see I have run across many, many, married men who all tell the same story. There tag lines and justifications are nearly identical.
And you know what? Marriage is hard and it is work. They are probably not willing to do the work. What makes you think they would with you or that you would be different? Maybe she is difficult because maybe she senses that something isn’t right with you and you are not a loyal partner.
As a man thinkith and all! If you are concentrating on the grass being greener she is probably picking that up intuitively and it is affecting her so called understanding of you. Insecurity and paranoia can do terrible things to a woman. I know. I was in relationship where I constantly saw my man showing off and trying to catch the eyes of other woman. Maybe didn’t handle it the way other woman do but that feeling that I wasn’t enough did take its toll in other ways.
I may delve into that deeper at some point later.
The other thing they have in common...that find I more irritating than that third grade substitute teacher who used to run her fake fingernails across the chalk board as she writes...breath...is that they do not take No for an answer. They must be so good at getting their way that they just hound you and hound you.
They have you all figured out at this point...vulnerabilities and all. They know what to say. It is a tactical game to them.
So for instance the man in particular who is hounding me is a guy I knew years ago. I had always cared about him as a dear friend but it had never gone anywhere back then. I am talking when we were teenagers here. I thought he was a friend still and thankfully he lives out of state. Yes he is married. In the last month he has been, and keeps trying convince me to come and stay with him for a weekend while he is in Washington on a business trip.
I have said NO a thousand times and he keeps persisting! MAYBE YOU’RE NOT HEARING ME!!!!
The thing is I know he hears me. He just seems to be of the impression if he begs and justifies and send me sweet emails, messages and texts that he will wear me down.
Is this because it usually works this way? Are my single lady sisters out there being worn down? Are they really falling for this and giving men the sense that they do not need to respect a woman’s feelings?
I have said, “I do not want to be the other woman!” I do not want to hurt your wife.” “ I do not want to have to live with myself if I were to do that.” “I don’t do that!” So why wont the jerk just leave me alone? Why do men force us to be vicious and start resorting to phrases like you disgust me and I hate you????
Yesterday I got a text before 6:00 am in the morning that said “I was listening to a song that expresses how I am feeling about you!” It was “right here waiting for you” by Brian Adams he said. YUCK!!!!
I was angry! I do not want anyone to ever wake me up before 6:00 am ever! My alarm goes off at 6:30 and unless you are my sick child, do not mess with me!!!!
As angry as I was I didn’t reply. I have already told him No, and when No should be enough and isn’t...I think someone’s head needs to get checked.
The other man that I find just as dis-tasteful is the Obsessive Single Man who you barley know who is telling you that you are supposed to be his wife. This one uses God as his justification if he thinks you are religious or the universe or your parents if that one will work. He acts as though you shouldn’t even question whether this would be mutually beneficial.
He is pushy and is merely concerned with pushing his agenda. He doesn’t care if you feel the same or to even take the time to find out if you could. He is in a hurry and could care less about what is best for you. He is so busy trying to impress you and always has to be the center of the conversation. So he really hasn't a clue what you are really about nor does it matter for his performance.
So when I told him I wasn’t in the same place he basically told me that I was not in a good place with God. I needed to just see that this was the right thing for me and then pray to God to help make it work for me. What about there is No chemistry does a dud (I mean dude) not get? I am not praying about something I do not want! MAYBE YOU’RE NOT HEARING ME!!!!
This particular dude who was already very passive aggressive started dropping little comments like. “You seem to be someone who figures things out too late.” “Oh really!” I think to myself. “You think if I haven’t decided right now that you are the bomb I am really going to regret it later?” Are men really that full of themselves? Unbelievable!
They think a little flattery and you’re going to be hooked. Have they not realized that far more genuine people are in your life telling you are beautiful and don’t have ulterior motives? Do they really think you are an island? Do you think you are an Island?
You better not! If you do you are making yourself the perfect victim to be falling for this kind of thing.
I have watched myself change over the years and I remember when I was younger and a guy would give me a compliment how I was so happy and it made my whole darn day!
Now I am like...so? So what! You think I am hot, sweet and spicy? Well duh! So as a woman thinkinth you know! And just because you are hot doesn’t mean they get a free sample or even are the right person to make the purchase or a high ticket valuable item here! Do not sell your self short girl! There are no discounts for talkers!
