Superman or Super imature man?

I have heard it said before that “men are like little boys...they will always try to see what they can get a way with.”
So somehow even though we want to be their lovers rather then their mothers we seem to have to set the standard so that they do not take advantage of us.

Poor unsuspecting females are falling victim to games or are putting up with bad behavior from their men everyday. Growing up so much of it is around us in our brothers, our fathers or our society we are not taught how to even see it, let alone deal with it.....we just suddenly are in the middle of it.

Many women I know are so afraid they will lose the relationship (or potential relationship) to say what they really think and even establish boundaries that actually show they have respect for themselves.
I know! I used to be one of them...you get burned enough and you finally learn.

I don’t know if it comes from our dog eat dog mans world but when a man sees that someone doesn’t have respect for themselves they with take advantage of that person and that person cannot have their respect.

I cannot tell you how many men start out pretending to be your Mr. Right, telling you how wonderful you are, enjoying your stories and your jokes complimenting you….only to get comfortable one day and suddenly be a totally different guy.

Suddenly they are calling your best girlfriend who was deceived and hurt by some guy, retarded...they are poking fun at people. Making fun of others religious views bringing up things that they know make you uncomfortable like sick stories they heard at work...you get the idea.

And we often put up with it because when he treats us sweet, we feel loved. It always makes you nervous though because if he was in a mood, couldn’t that turn on you?

Some guys get comfortable fast and you know what? I let them. I want to find out how quickly they will drop their guard and let me see what they are really all about. They will be so careful at first so the most extreme examples may not help anyone, I will start small here tonight even though I have some even bigger stories...so the red flag you are looking for here is what kind of things do they blurt out and say without thinking...?

Guys are known for saying and doing things because of pride or ego and so often without thinking about it first. So caught up sometimes to impress they do not even think about what would really impress you...which is okay. You don’t want them impressing you to play you. Look for the Red Flags girls!

There was this Attorney who I knew as a friend. He was a Male Pieces which means he has good lying potential...I knew that prior to hanging out with him. I even told him in a joking manner when we started hanging out that I realized his sign was one of a liar. He told me that was true but that he didn’t lie anymore. Lol...!
He told me of his interest and was trying to impress me, trying to do things for me even though I told him I had just broken up with my boyfriend and wanted a friendships first. He was way interested in me, hinted at me maybe marrying him but told me he wanted to be my friend first too.

The truth is I was looking at him...sizing him up and weighing his qualities and trying to decide if I could really date him. I always do that, part of my Libra nature to give everyone a fair chance. I admit when he gave me Easter Lily’s the week before I was kind of digging that...

So we were going to hang out with my girlfriend and go to this restaurant called “Cedars of Lebanon.” To see my friends Belly Dancing instructor who was performing that night. I was excited to go do something new and I had my daughter with me as well.

Well Mr. Attorney started out the night trying to bribe my daughter with money to do things like help straighten up the backseat of the car and to eat her food. He told me he always bribes his boys with money...ummm.....RED FLAG!

Oh wait! How could I forget???? The best part! When I showed up at his home to pick him up he was wearing a Super man costume!!!! Yes, really! Not sure if it was supposed to be a subliminal message (he thought I would think he was super maybe???) but all I could think was RED FAG!...Ooops! Red FLAG I mean.

My daughter still talks about this. I think she was traumatized a bit actually....

Thankfully he did change into street clothes before we left and as I was pulling out of his driveway he said. “I think you are the kind of person who figures things out too late.” I asked him to explain and he gave me a semi sarcastic,“ Oh, nothing!”

So on the way to the restaurant he tells me Oh, My GoSH! You actually drive really decent for a girl! Then proceeded to make a few disparaging comments about what lady drivers are like.

Somehow I think that was supposed to impress me or make me feel good...? The first time I had driven with him BTW he almost hit someone because he was so busy telling me some wild story and twice we almost went off the road. So I was thrilled to drive that night!

Then he proceeded to tell me that the last time he was at the "Cedars of Lebanon" restaurant he got drunk and was doing drugs and had to be carried out by his friends...it was years ago he said....when he was a student at BYU none the less... Hmmm...I thought...

As we drive into the city I notice that they have signs advertising the Ann Frank exhibit. I told him that I remember year’s ago when it was here last, going to see it. He suddenly goes off on how stupid she was for hiding and then getting killed. Are you kidding me?
?
?

Who says that about people? Then he went on about how “his descendants were in the war and they survived and no one celebrates them!”

I said to him “you know.” “That journal she kept gives us a clue as to what it was really like for those people.” “I think it is great we have that bit of history.” “I find it moving.”
Inside I am Thinking BIG RED FLAG!

Yep! The things they say without thinking will give you a huge clue as to their immaturity and inner nature.

So, I told him that I found what he said to “be a bit snobby.” I was actually completely disgusted by him ripping on a famous deceased person.

During dinner my daughter made friends with a cute little dancer and so I was all over the restaurant with her taking pictures and watching the performances. He sat and talked to my friend most of the time and stared at me a lot.

When I took him home that night he was very quiet. I kept asking him what was wrong. “Nothing he would say.” He was strangely quiet... typically his mouth never stopped running. I like to talk and he makes me seem quiet! I worried something was wrong and called him as I was driving away. "Can you tell me what is wrong?" He acted like I was crazy for asking. Something was up though.
Okay! If that is how he wanted to be.

An hour later he called me acting strange...I thought he might be drunk. He just went on and on about how much fun he had and how wonderful he thought I was....Weird???

That next day my girlfriend from the night before called me to chat and then told me that he had told her we were together, and had fabricated a story about it to her.

I do not think he realized until the end of the night how good of friends she and I are. Or he wasn't thinking...maybe his ego was involved somehow. There were other men watching from time to time too.

Yes, that was enough to give me a reason to be done hanging out. I had already seen some of this sort of behavior, but it was getting to be more frequently. Over the next two days he would text and call and I would rarely answer or I would tell him I have to call you back. I was pretty busy. I was actually busy and had my kids around so I wasn’t really sure what to do or say. I never want to be rude but when they are.....you have to say something. Then one night he text me and said. “I guess you’ve fired me from being your friend.”

I then replied that “I didn’t appreciate him telling my college girlfriend that you and I were boyfriend and girlfriend.”
He of course denied it and told me some story but I know my friend. She didn’t lie to me. There were enough bits of truth in the story she told me that he had to have told it to her, things she never would have known if he hadn’t said something.

Oh, He so blew it!

He knew it too!

Funny thing though...as I was just writing this he just text me, wanting to know how my kids and I are doing.
This story happened more than five months ago and it takes me recounting it and he is now trying to contact me.

Creepy!!!!!

That is so law attraction stuff I tell you! You thinks about someone and they call you or text....

Okay!
That was some food for your thoughts! Pay attention my friends! Don't tolerate these kinds of behaviors for a second or you will end up marring the guy and finding out you have to be his mother....always telling him what is appropriate when he should already know.

I have to leave this one be now so he doesn’t contact me again...